first post: who am i?

well... that's why i started this blog: i'm clueless; i have no fucking idea who i am. Maybe writing some shit about it will help me find out something... maybe not, but anyway i can lose nothing.

I saw a movie today, Closer, with the beautiful Natalie Portman in the main role. She's awesome, fantastic, there's no words that really can mean what she is and this blog is not about her, but that movie made me understand some things about myself, and as long as i'm THE clueless, well i'll try to start to give myself some clues i find... so this blog is only meant for me, so i will not accept criticism, but if you got some clues from what you read you're welcome to comment about it.

Well, there was this man that was talking about her wife and he said something like this: "she is depressive, she needs to feel guilty to justify her depression." That in some way, makes me remember something i read some time: "depression is a learned defenseless feeling."

So there's the first clue: i need to feel depressed, to justify that i behave like a loser so i can fell guilty and that keeps me depressed.

Maybe that's why i like so much leaving Las Vegas, that man is the biggest loser, but it really has style being it.